This Is How You Unlove Him

This is how you will learn to unlove him.

Cry. Pass your bedroom into a storming ocean. Into a tsunami that never stops shattering you. Into a waterfall that never stops moving. Into a tornado that never fucking stops swiping you over and over again. Cry until you think it’s over. Until you think your weepings have all been bone-dry. And do it all over again.

Scream. Scream into your pillow. Screeching into his silence. Scream into your phone. Scream into the sunshine and into the flood. Scream until your utter interrupts. Until you have nothing left inside of you. Call until you lose your utter to announce him up and tell him to come back. Scream until your intelligence becomes dizzy and white-hot stars replenish your focus for a while, instead of him.

Sleep. Sleep in your berth that realizes you feel so numb. In your berth that is missing his arms. His cheek. His legs. His touch. Toss and form. Sleep through your alarm clock. Sleep through your first-class until your roommates ask you to go. Then sleepwalk. Sleepwalk in the world where he left you.

Taste. Taste the style your weepings comes. Taste your unwashed fuzz. And your expanses that haven’t been moved for months. Taste his cavity on yours while you daydream and wake up ravenous. Appetite other lips in search of someone that savors like him. Taste their handle and their surface and remember that it isn’t his. Taste too many glass of wine. And don’t precisely sip. Gulp it. Gulp until “youre forgetting”. Just for a little bit. If even for a second.

Shop. Shop for stuffs that hamper no “ve been meaning to” you. Open yourself a makeover. Hope that maybe a haircut will fix your centre. Or that a new wardrobe will cleanse him from your surface cells. Shop for stuffs that spawn you look so pretty. So fun. So not sad.

Still be sad.

Talk. Talk to your best friend. Try to laugh when they say they never liked him regardless. Cause them hug you until you feel weepings behind your eyes once again. Cause them dehydrate your faucet and cause them hamper you open until you stop shaking. Listen to them tell you that you’re special and beautiful and he’s an jerk. Try to believe them.

Wake up alone. Dry your eyes. Find pleasure in your reveries. The reveries that he is in. Drink another glass. Scream another rumble. Talk another hour about how you feel so empty-bellied. Think when it’s going to go away. This big black hole that has turned into their own lives. Wonder how people survive this. Think if you will die of a broken heart. Make about how that might be easier than living.

Recycle the weepings. Recycle the bellows and the wine bottles. Represent it over and over again in your intellect. Cause eras extend. Cause months pass.Wake up. Start to sleep. Wake up. Start to sleep. Wake up. Pause. Breathe.

Breathe until living without him doesn’t feel like your suffocating on your own hurt. Breathe until inhaling without him doesn’t feel like a bayonet inside of your throat. Hinder extending. Hinder extending until you learn how to be a human without him beside you. Hinder extending until you remember how to truly live.

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